I started a new job a few months ago and since then I’ve drifted away from all of these creative endeavors that I was pursuing… I seem to have entered a phase where I’m largely uninspired. I still dabble in writing music every now and then, but I haven’t really worked on completing a full song in quite a long time. I guess it all kind of started when I released the EP in October. I rushed it out before I should have. I had spent so long working on those four songs that I just wanted everyone to hear, even though I knew they weren’t really ready to be out in the public. The mixing quality is sub-par and a reflection of my amateur attempts to convey my abilities in a recorded medium. I had no idea what I was doing throughout the majority of the process. I do not have a seasoned ear when it comes to recording music. The levels are all off; and it was difficult for me to tell in my home studio due to sub-par speakers and again, a lack of knowledge. I took my work to some professionals that I trust and listened to my work through a proper setup and it was quite awful. I could instantly hear how muddy and confusing all the noise was.
Don’t get me wrong, I did appreciate the constructive feedback, and it was extremely helpful. For a time, I took the advice I was given and started from scratch in remixing the songs that I had made. But eventually I just became very demoralized for some reason. I guess I felt like I had put in over 5 years of work into these four songs for nothing. 5 years spent on this and it turned out sounding so bad… how much more time was I going to have to invest before I was happy with these songs?
Now that I think about the whole situation though, it’s all really just a test of my fortitude as an individual, and my ability to weather the storm. Perhaps I should leave the songs from my Awake EP in the past to serve as a reminder to never release music until I know that I will be happy for other people to hear it. I think that was the biggest lesson learned from my first major mistake as a musician. Now I’m just looking to move on to pursue new musical objectives.
Anyway, I’m done with the depressing part of the post now. I really just needed to get that off of my chest and let those who care know why I’ve been neglecting sharing my work for the past few months. Thank you all for your support, and know that I am not giving up! I’m just taking a little break until the inspirational phase finally kicks back in for me. It has always come and gone for me; it’s just on a bit of an extended vacation right now!
Also, just as a little end note, I’m thinking of expanding the site’s name to “Flagasun Studios.” That way it can kinda encompass all of my creative works and also create a bridge for me to eventually use my website to serve as a contact point for some freelance video editing work, among other things. Times and tastes are changing, so we’ll see what the future brings!